Doot Doot

tagdavid

Source: julshii

tagdavid

catsbeaversandducks

When your body is ready but your food is not.

Photo/caption by Sydney Tr‎

Source: catsbeaversandducks

tentiginouslogophile

The mother-in-law bribe backfired

pettyrevenge-base

This is not my story. This was told to me by a woman I knew from work several years ago; she’s a very sweet nurse.

Nurse graduated from nursing school and decided with her friend to move to one of the cities that was listed as having “the most eligible bachelors” from some publication. She moves and starts dating her future husband.

Future Husband’s mother is a viper and decides Nurse is not good enough for her family. The happy couple eventually get engaged and future mother-in-law is having none of it. Tries for several months to break them up; tries to convince Nurse to go back where she came from and simultaneously tries to gently convince her precious son that Nurse may not be good for him.

To add some more context to this situation, this MIL is pretty nasty to Nurse but hides it well to other people, always making sure she’s super (fake) sweet to everyone when others are around.

Finally wedding plans are set so MIL gets desperate. She gets Nurse alone with a “generous” offer: leave fiance and never come back in exchange for $10,000 (note: this was almost 30 years ago so I guess it was kind of a shitload of money for most).

Nurse is so sick of this woman’s shit and is incredibly insulted. However, she’s intelligent and maintains her composure. Nurse accepts the offer.

Nurse takes the money, does not leave, and gets married anyway. Nobody else knows about this.

MIL cannot say or do anything about it without exposing herself to her family as a horrible person.

Nurse and husband are still happily married; their kids are grown; husband still has no idea this went down.

MIL has suffered silently for almost 30 years.

thisdiscontentedwinter

I reblog this every time I see it, because it’s a Machiavellian power move AND I LOVE IT!

Source: reddit.com

starrblaster

climbingupthebookshelves:
“Tchaikovsky was gay as hell, and a bottom
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2018/jun/02/tchaikovsky-letters-saved-from-censors-reveal-secret-loves-homosexuality
”

Source: climbingupthebookshelves

thestalebread

skarchomp

really weird to think that samus aran, the woman who was raised by alien birds and has had to fight multiple parasitic alien clones of herself, probably has had the most normal life out of all the major nintendo protagonists

skarchomp

Mario: *teams up with a baby version of himself to fight alien mushroom people*

Link: *gets transformed into a wolf by traveling between different dimensions due to shadow magic*

Kirby: *has a rogues gallery consisting of everything from a magician cartoon mouse to reality-warping god machines that live in space*

Samus Aran: *goes to an alien planet, beats up some jerks, collects her paycheck, goes home and reheats some leftover ravioli and passes out in front of the tv*

thestuffedalligator

The only reason Samus wears the Zero Suit for Smash Bros is so nobody knows her real off-mission wardrobe is an oversized t-shirt with an unidentifiable stain near the collar and a pair of shorts with the word “JUICY” written in an alien language written across the butt

presidentbee

I had to draw her and add some smudged mascara. You KNOW shes too lazy to wash off her makeup after smash

Source: skarchomp

thestalebread

you-had-me-at-e-flat-major

double bubble disco queen headed to the guillotine

skin as cool as rasputin, russia’s greatest love machine

seras-sanctum

Boy, you think you know what’s happening in this one and then it just knocks you flat, doesn’t it

Source: you-had-me-at-e-flat-major

haylohusky

naked-yogi

As a society, we need to stop assuming that everyone enjoys drinking alcohol.

naked-yogi

Lmao @ people who think I’m ridiculous for this post. I’m defensive because alcoholism is a huge issue. Everywhere in the world. Not to mention, I know it’s hard for some of you fucks to believe because of how widely accepted alcohol is, but there are a HUGE amount of people who have personal issues with alcohol. Either being recovering or previous alcoholics themselves, having a close personal tie with someone who abused alcohol, growing up in an unstable alcoholic household, having DEEPLY EMBEDDED family or spouse issues ALL because of alcohol. FUCK OFF with your me being so offended bullshit. Just assume people are sober till you find out on **their** terms they aren’t. Don’t expect that everyone likes to drink. Just like you wouldn’t expect that everyone likes to smoke cannabis, why would you do it with alcohol? (That’s rhetorical, it’s obviously because basically everyone assumes the entire world enjoys drinking). It’s not hard. Don’t offer people drinks unless you know they drink. BYE.

paralol

My favorite response when I tell people im straight edge is “what? You’ll never drink ever? Not one drink? I don’t believe you.”
And they’ll laugh
And I’ll look them straight in their fucking eye and tell them both my parents, and my aunt are recovering alcoholics. The rest of my family? Has never tried, nor ever got the chance to recover from their addiction. It’s by some miracle my mother is alive right now because she drank so much her liver stopped working. She was in a coma for two weeks. The doctors almost gave up on her.
My dad was an abusive drunk and then turned to hard drugs and that certainly didn’t help anything. My 3 younger sisters and I were almost put into foster care because of the both of them. I was only about 14 at the time. Making my youngest sister, 7. And because of all of this my family went bankrupt and we were almost homeless. All because of drinking :)

That usually shuts them up real fucking fast but, I shouldn’t have to explain that to anyone. I shouldn’t have to defend my (perfectly healthy!) choices!

If someone tells you they don’t drink, it’s for a fucking reason. Don’t be a dick. Casual alcoholism is a huge fucking problem in the world and its scary that most people can’t see it.

briwhosaysni

Also, some people just… don’t like drinking. There are people out there who just genuinely do not enjoy drinking alcohol. They don’t like the taste, they don’t like being impaired, and they have no desire to try to force themselves into enjoying it just because someone else thinks it’s “weird”.

There are all kinds of reasons that someone might not choose to drink, and all of those reasons are valid. There’s nothing wrong with it, it doesn’t mean they “can’t have fun”, and I guarantee you they’re not judging you for drinking. And if they are? It’s definitely not as much as they’re being judged for not drinking.

Don’t try to force people to drink. Don’t assume everyone likes to drink. And if someone says they don’t drink? Don’t force them to explain why just to get you to stop hounding them.

bigmouthlass

There are plenty of reasons to avoid booze and the particulars of someone’s reasons are none of your business. Nobody deserves to catch crap because they don’t imbibe.

thecommunityoftrustworthysinks

the culture of alcohol is disgusting and i want it to stop

Source: naked-yogi

hello-tom

worldsworstfather

instead of saying “i want to kill myself” whenever something bad happens to me as a result of circumstances beyond my control i’ve started saying “i’m going to kill god” and it’s honestly done wonders for my self-esteem

worldsworstfather

you know what? 2019 mood

Source: hexglyphs

melodramaticsoprano

when the accompanist messes up your aria at an audition:

melodramaticsoprano

(I guess I’m spoiled from rehearsing with @alleychattalks @alleychat)

melodramaticsoprano

hocksquawks

*blows a kiss under the stage* for the pit orchestra

galacticpasta

*blows a kiss behind the stage* for the run crew

vintagedad

*blows a kiss to the rafters* for the phantom

you-had-me-at-e-flat-major

Source: hocksquawks

THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN! DO MORE DO MORE DO MORE!!

THIS IS THE FIRST THING THAT HAS GREETED WHEN I OPENED THIS APP AFTER 12345567890 DAYS!!!!! OMG OMG OMFG!!!!!

I

Need

More

This is adorable

IT HAS BEEN UPDATED

The mother-in-law bribe backfired

when the accompanist messes up your aria at an audition:

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN! DO MORE DO MORE DO MORE!!

THIS IS THE FIRST THING THAT HAS GREETED WHEN I OPENED THIS APP AFTER 12345567890 DAYS!!!!! OMG OMG OMFG!!!!!

I

Need

More

This is adorable

IT HAS BEEN UPDATED

The mother-in-law bribe backfired

when the accompanist messes up your aria at an audition: